Tennis (Abolition) Decree 2005

[morwen]

WHEREAS, the infernal game of Tennis is infesting our Television and Radio Recievers, and it is expedient to prevent this, and WHEREAS no Player from these Islands stands a Whelk's chance in a Supernova, the Empress Morwen hereby DECREES as follows

(1) the practice of Tennis shall be abolished.

(2) any Person found guilty of playing Tennis shall be sentenced to 15, 30 or 40 years in Prison.

(3) this Decree may be cited as the Tennis (Abolition) Decree 2005

(4) this Decree shall apply to England and Wales only

Comments

[vampwillow]

15,30 or 40 years huh love? that'll be the advantage of outlawing it, the deuce it will! Will you set up the vote?

game on!

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

we've got to show these tennis players they've met their match.

[ellyll.livejournal.com]

Can we amend it to include all sport?

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

No. *looks at the cricket scores*

[secretlondon.livejournal.com]

Thankfully, or not so thankfully, everything I've heard has been on the wretched Live 8 shite. Admittedly my sole exposure to radio or tv has been an hour of Capital in the hairdressers today.

There *could* be excitement however. Will anyone manage to stay awake during Coldplay? Will Pink Floyd fight? Will Geldolf realise that Blair is a right wing tosspot?

The real question is how anyone at all can listen to Capital.

[fluffymormegil.livejournal.com]

Blair's government is more socialist than his left-wing detractors will admit.

[secretlondon.livejournal.com]

Poor old Scotland.

[bluedevi.livejournal.com]

All hail Empress Morwen!

(good job you didn't sound so impressively authoritative over in my journal, or I'd be dropping boxes of books and clothes on random streets As We Speak...)

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

At least now I know what sort of language to use next time I have a mandatory party!

[jisha78.livejournal.com]

I concur and add my support to this most worthy proposal.

[hairyears.livejournal.com]

And why would anyone object to nonstop close-up coverage of shapely women of ambiguous sexuality engaged in ecstatic sweaty physical exertion whilst wearing short skirts?

Moral hazard?

[haloj.livejournal.com]

Love is Tennis. :P

[spindr.livejournal.com]

You silly, silly girl. /condescension

Tennis is great. There need be no further discussion. ;)

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

I see the tense is going to have a bit of getting used to. Tennis was great (and even then I disagree)

[katsmeat.livejournal.com]

By 'was', do you mean when they still played it indoors, you could bounce shots of the side galleries and the court had things called a tambour, a service penthouse and a dedans.

Not this newfangled, Victorian nonsense that's played outside on a lawn.

je n'aime pas vous idee! Hmph!

[(Anonymous)]

j'aime joue au tennis! je aussi americain,dude!

Re: je n'aime pas vous idee! Hmph!

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

hah!