New system of months

[morwen]

I have decided to rename all the months. The existing system makes no sense at all and is discriminatory.

We have January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December

People familiar with Latin will notice that "decem" means 10, "novem" means 9, "octo" means 8, "septem" means 7. These are clearly absurd - these month names have not been updated for the introduction of January and February (there used to be a long winter period not considered part of any month). Additionally, some of the months are named after Roman gods, but none after any other pantheons. This is clearly not acceptable in the modern multi-cultural world. The naming of July and August after dictators is clearly also wrong - I hope by abolishing references to dictators in my new month names I will be able to gain the support of the U.S. government

So, here is my new system

*Brahmanuary
*February
*Thor
*Satan
*Quintilis Quetzalcoatl
*Sextilis
*September (previously July)
*October (previously August)
*November (previously September)
*December (previously October)
*Jesusember (named for Jesus from Mormonism)
*Icke

Additionally, all months shall have the alternate name of "Bob".

Comments

[darkstream.livejournal.com]

personally I feel the idea of religious references in month names is outdated.
we should revert to a ten month year, with the months called "month1", "month2" and so forth.
combining this with a ten day week (6 working days in a 3 on 2 off arrangement) with days also numbered one through ten, which would continue regardless of seasons, would regiment the currently chaotic calendar.
resetting the calendar to zero with 100 day years, we'd catch up eventually and at some point arrive in our own future.
it's the sane thing to do. :P

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

"at some point" = 2554, by my calculations. of course, by then it would only have caught up to 2005 so we'd have to wait a bit more.

Anyway, your calendar idea is sucky. Clearly we should call the months "month0", "month1" and so.

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

You planning on renaming the days of the week as well?

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Nah - I think pissing off three of Woden, Thor, Tyr and Frige would be a bad idea!

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

So you'd leave them one day, huh?

You don't appear to be worried about annoying Mars or Janus, though. And while the god of thresholds may not seem too alarming, the god of war is said to know how to make his presence felt.

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I really don't want Roman _and_ Norse gods pissed off with me at the same time. Besides which the Norse ones clearly exist as otherwise they wouldn't be in Stargate: the Roman ones I am less sure of.

Do you have suggestions for new day names? I was also thinking about renaming planets.

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

Well, according to Stargate Thor's running the show. And I doubt they'd get annoyed if you renamed the days.

Clearly, as per darkstream's suggestion, the days of the week should also be numbered, although I prefer an eight day week, allowing for a three day weekend and the presence of half- and quarter-weeks.

You appear to have left out the Aztec pantheon entirely - ware lightning bolts!

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Ok - I think I can take your word for that and be safe? I'll keep Thursday (naturally), and use the days of the week and planets for the pantheons I was unable to include.

Anyway, "Bob" will be happy, and that's what's important. All the days of the week and planets and also days of the month, as well as years will be named after him, such that it is now "Bob", the "Bob"th of "Bob", in the Year "Bob". This makes writing dates a lot easier.

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

No, no, I'm just repeating Stargate's version of events. This is in no way a personal endorsement of the religious views expressed therein.

From a personal viewpoint, I would say Odin wants to keep his day, and short of the Aztecs and Discordians, the Asatru are probably the worst group of pagans to annoy.

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this was my original thought. I wonder if you are trying to get me hit by a lightning bolt from them or something? My religion of course means I would welcome this because it would mean I leave the world sooner!

I'll just rename Quintilis Quetzalcoatl, and hopefully that will suffice. If new important pantheons are pointed out to me we have all those spare numbered months.

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

Celtic pantheon, Egyptian, Slavic, Baltic, Magyar, Mesopotamian, Haudenosaunee, Chinese, Japanese... um, try Godchecker (http://www.godchecker.com)

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

Eek! It looks like we'll be needing a longer year!

[landvaettir.livejournal.com]

Or some more planets...

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

I'll call Magrathrea immediately...

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

On a somewhat belated note, I just found out that 5 of Saturn's moons are now named after Skathi, Mundilfari, Suttungr, Thrymr and Ymir! (see Wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn's_natural_satellite's)) respectively. Also Gallic and Inuit moons.

[abigailb.livejournal.com]

I am not a greengrocer (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturn's_natural_satellites).

[darkstream.livejournal.com]

Whereas I like the idea of naming a month after Icke (as opposed to Tina Turner) I'm pretty sure it's the 8ft tall blood drinking lizards he goes on about that you want to be worried about offending rather than David.